Beer in Mexico

Hello friends,

 So I was thinking to myself… “Self, why don’t you write something on your blog today… write something uplifting”.   Well I would love to do that.  There is only one problem. God had a different idea.  He chose the content of this post for me.  He has convicted me beyond measure to share with you what he has been showing me lately.

 Now I know that this post is going to upset some people – truth be told – it kind of upset me too.  It really sucks that I have to write about something that might make people mad at me or even worse might cause people to think of me as an over the top self righteous Christian.  First and foremost, you need to know that what I am going to share with you is not meant to be a judgment but an encouragement.

 This New Years Eve Jill and I had a great evening with friends.  We had a great dinner, fantastic conversation and a few drinks.  There was only one problem… those of you that are close to me know that I like to give myself a two-drink limit when I have alcohol.  Well, the last time I checked three beers plus a glass of wine equal more than two drinks.   I did not get drunk as I had the drinks over a long period of time and I had tons of food in my belly. But the bottom line is this…I went over the limit.  I have the two-drink limit for two reasons.  First, it keeps me from getting drunk and hurting other people.  Second, it allows me to stay in control and be a good light to those around me.

 Now thankfully God gave me victory over my addictions to both drugs and alcohol when I accepted Him as my savior over 12 years ago.  The first few years of my Christian life I quit drinking all together.  Later I realized, that with my limits in place, I could enjoy the occasional drink without fear of having to many.  I no longer drank to get drunk – I drank for the social aspect, and quite honestly, because I like the taste and the relaxing effect that it has on me. 

 That being said, I have recognized a trend in my life. I have at times crossed the line and had a few more than I should.  I never saw this as a problem as I never got wasted – okay, yeah there were a few times I was… a little less inhibited. But hey, at least I never went hog wild like the old days.   I was totally overlooking the fact that I went beyond my self- imposed limit by making excuses.  Excuses like: “Yeah, I had 4 beers but it was over 4 hours” or  “it’s okay for me to have an extra beer – I’m on a beach in Mexico a thousand miles away from everyone I know”. 

 Now lets get back to New Years Eve.  Something happened to me in those first moments of January 1 2008.  As I had my last drink of the night…I felt shame.  I was disgusted with myself for having more than my limit.  Even worse than that I felt disgusted that I was being a horrible example for my own brothers and sisters in Christ.  To make matters worse, when we left the house Jill looked over at me and said “ you had quite a bit to drink tonight Mr. Carnahan”.  She did not say it in a judgmental or degrading tone.  She said it as if she were disappointed in me.  Her hero was not acting like the man that God calls him to be…devastating.

 A phone call…a question…conviction.  A brother in Christ called me last week and for the life of me I cannot even remember what the initial conversation was about.  You see at the end of the conversation, or what I thought was the end, I asked him a harmless question. “How are you doing?” I asked him thinking that I would get the typical – oh fine.  But instead what I got was silence.  A few moments passed and it came out that he was disappointed in himself for having too much to drink on New Years.  Worse yet, he was bummed out because he was with other Christ followers when he had too much to drink.  I could not believe what I was hearing.  My heart ached as if it were being pulled from my chest.  My heart ached because I knew what he was feeling.   But what tore me up more was the thought that my own carefree unassuming decision to drink might be affecting those around me that I love.  We were at separate parties on New Years but we both had the same experience.  Was there a possibility that my own position on drinking affected his position creating the same horrible result?  In an instant I realized that it did not matter if I had “just a couple of beers”…it could still affect those around me in a negative way.

 My friend’s next words rocked me again.  “I have decided not to drink again this year”. Before I could even think – I heard myself say “I am standing with you brother-I am done drinking”.  WHAT!  In an instant I promised something that I did not want to promise.  I love a glass of wine over a big steak dinner.  For crying out loud – how do I grill brats this summer without a beer in my hand?  But once those selfish thoughts left me…none of that mattered to me anymore.  I decided at that moment to be a pillar for my brother rather than a stumbling block.  I chose to go to battle with a brother rather than staying at home in my comfortable world. 

 Since that day a little over a week ago God has brought two more brothers into my life with similar stories.  Why am I writing this post?  Well, it could be for you.  Listen, I still think a glass of wine is fine – for crying out loud Jesus had a glass or two in his day.  The difference is this…did Jesus EVER cause another man to sin?   Can we have a drink without causing others to stumble? Sure, but I am done taking any chances.

 What if we Christ followers decide today to be filled with the Holy Spirit rather than the man made spirits?  Can God comfort us better than alcohol?  Is there a possibility that we can still have fun without alcohol?  I had the opportunity to be with some friends at Midwest Food Bank a couple of months ago and we had a blast.  Were we drinking together? No, we were serving Christ together. 

 Christ called us to make disciples of all nations…people are going to hell and we are busy getting our buzz on.  I’m done with it….

 You are loved

~a

a crash…

if you do not fit into the typical “christian community” that say’s you must look, act, work for and seek Christ like everyone else than i would encourage you to get into a crash.  erwin mcmanus in his book the barbarian way explains that a crash is what you would call a group of charging rhinos (like a pride of lions).  you see, the rhino can run at speeds of up to 3o mph.  this stat is very cool –  but even cooler than that is the fact that the rhinos can only see 31 feet in front of them.  rhinos run full speed ahead without fear!  subsequently, sometimes it might mean the rhinos are going to experience some impact.

what a cool analogy for us as a group of Christ followers!  a group of Christ followers…a crash…making impact for the kingdom of Christ by charging forward being led by the Spirit to do whatever God calls us to do.

 now you need to know that this is not about railing on the current state of the church.  i don’t think that “a crash” is supposed to sit around complaining about what they see is wrong and then never doing what is right.  i speak from experience…i have done my share of complaining without ever taking personal action.  in addition to that, i am not saying that we stop going to and participating in our churches.

 all i am saying is this…what if a group of spirit filled Christ followers ban together to make a crash in both our community and our world?  let’s stop making excuses for our inactivity. we need to start working together and encouraging one another in whatever God calls each of us to do for His kingdom. i like what mcmanus say’s “we need to stop wasting our time being afraid of what we can not see and do not know.  we need to move forward full force because of what we do know.”   one of my friends – he is a rhino – recently told me that God is not going to steer the ship until we move it from the dock.  i agree…

i know a lot of rhino’s… it is time to form a crash and make some impact!

~a

I remember…

How fitting that the first entry of my new blog would be written on Christmas day.  A day of celebration.  A day of reflection.I have started this new blog for two reasons:

#1 I feel that it is time for me to write about things that have deeper meaning to me and musingsofcarne.com had become a place of wackiness.  I am sure there will be some humor on this page but it will not be the focus.

#2  I did not want to change musingsofcarne.com because I will always like to be Wacky.That being said Here is my first topic.

I remember…
(lifehouse’s everything skit)

This video tore me up.  As I sat and watched this for the first time I began to tear up.  When I watched it the second time I wept uncontrollably. A flood of emotions came upon me as I remembered all that Christ has done for me and all that he continues to do in my life. In this video I saw the old Aaron that was locked in every bondage imaginable.  I remember the alcohol, the lust, the love of money, the vanity and even the thoughts of ending it all.  I remember the lie that I was living.  Everyone saw me as the guy always having a good time.  The guy with all of the friends.  But inside…loneliness, fear, anger and confusion.  I was living a life of selfishness and it was killing me. 

Jesus saved me from all that crap in my life.  He showed me that a life without Him was a life without meaning.  He showed me that without him I was going to be in hell rather than heaven.  He showed me that I could not change on my own (although I still tried).  He alone had the gift of salvation and a changed life.

I remember.  I remember the day I accepted that gift and everything changed.  Did everything become perfect in my life? Nope.  But I will tell you this,  Jesus is there with me through all of my struggles now.  Better yet,  I now know that when this life is over there are no more struggles baby!   Everlasting love,peace and harmony, that is what is waiting.

Why is it important to remember what God has done for me.  So I can live every day to the fullest for Him and respond to his call to let others know about this incredible gift.

~a